SUICIDAL NOTE
If you are reading this, it means I’m gone to the world beyond. I know you would have probably talked me out of it but you weren’t around nor were you aware of the happenings in my life. Don’t worry I’m not blaming you for anything, I just couldn’t take it anymore. I wish you all the best and I pray I find rest where ever I will find myself.
I wasn’t born with a silver spoon, I don’t even know what that looks like. I have toiled for everything I have ever had. I was able to secure a job in a company with ‘eye popping’ salary. How I got the job? It’s a long story, because, I wasn’t even qualified. Let’s just say it’s God, “Na God do am”.
Honestly, everything was going on smoothly in my life. I had a very beautiful lady in my life, she’s all I could ever dream of, Kind and curvy. What more could I ask for?
but all that didn’t last.
My colleagues at work were jealous of my position, so they framed up lies against me. The plan was headed by my secretary who had always envied my position. Whatever they cooked up did work, because they served it to my boss who ate it without spotting the human hairs in the soup.
On the D-day, my boss came to the office with policemen, he said they needed to do some investigations. I was taken to the police station. From the office, they took my phones, then I remembered my dream days back about how I saw my colleagues plotting things against me. I didn’t believe it. I thought it was a mere dream. Don’t blame me, I trusted these people!
At the police station, my boss had laid a complaint against me that I stole five million naira from the company’s account. They won’t let me speak, they won’t let me call my people. From there, they drove me to my apartment, packed all my valuables, leaving my bed behind. The following day, they drove me to the bank to withdraw all the money in my account. I mean all my life’s savings. I remember begging him not to disgrace me. He said he would try not to. It was obvious he was determined. I slept in the cell for days without food. I had lost everything. My name had been stained.
After six days, I was called out, forced to sign an agreement to pay five thousand naira monthly in order to repay the balance of 4.5 million. Out of fear, I signed it, with my uncle standing in as the guarantor.
I got back to my apartment confused, who do I turn to? Visiting my girlfriend, I meet her with another man, she acted like she didn’t know me. Who wants a broke man?
At this point, I made up my mind to take my life. Everything I had built and lived for had been taken away. Besides, even if I chose to live, what about the debt? Who’d help me pay it?
I bought sniper, I heard I could easily take my life with it. I shut my door and gulped everything down my stomach. It wasn’t long and the pain began. I didn’t know it was going to be this way. My whole being was on fire, blood running out of my nose and eyes. My legs twisted on their own, I could feel my body fighting to stay alive, but it was too late. My heart suddenly stopped, I couldn’t breath anymore. I tried to, I really wanted to.
This world dims out. I lost consciousness of everything. Everywhere seems dark now.
Very dark.
_John Ntia
SUICIDE MISSION POETRY 